


Hiccups

by adri0611



Category: Smallville
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-12-24
Updated: 2002-12-24
Packaged: 2017-11-01 06:58:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/353441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adri0611/pseuds/adri0611
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is an extremely short story about Lex getting a case of the hiccups and Clark helping him get rid of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hiccups

**Author's Note:**

> MitchPell is such a sweetie for staying up so late with me and helping me finish this. Thanks for pointing out the obvious mistakes and the not so obvious ones and for helping me figure out a better ending. Any mistakes you see now are my fault and my fault alone. 

## Hiccups

by adri0611

[]()

* * *

"Hiccups" 

adri0611 

adri0611@yahoo.com 

Disclaimer: Who technically "owns" Lex and Clark anyway? I want to know! ... Ok, apparently The WB and DC Comics "technically" do. Not me though. _sigh_ I wish! 

Spoilers: None 

Rating: PG 

Summary: This is an extremely short story about Lex getting a case of the hiccups and Clark helping him get rid of them. 

Author's 

Feedback: Please feel free to drop me a line about how much you liked or even possibly hated this fic. I live for your comments. 

* * *

Clark walked through the open doorway of Lex's study carrying a large wooden crate full of fresh apples, pears and oranges. He walked slowly with them, careful not to drop the fragile produce. He called out while keeping his attention on the crate. "Where would you like me to set these, Lex?" 

When Lex didn't answer immediately, Clark looked up from his box. The sight before him was definitely not what Clark was expecting. Lex was standing with his legs slightly spread apart and his hands and elbows planted firmly on top of his baldhead. His friend's clothes appeared to be rumpled as if he had been sleeping in them and there were dark circles underneath his closed eyes. 

It was rather odd for Lex to be doing Yoga, if that was what he was doing, Clark thought as he worried over Lex's appearance. 

He cleared his throat to try and gain Lex's attention, but to no avail. After a few minutes he spoke softly, "Lex? Are you ok?" When there was no response, Clark quickly laid the box of fruit onto the floor and rushed to Lex's side. 

When Clark placed his warm hand on Lex's right shoulder, the older man's eyes flew open and he exhaled slowly. He unwrapped both of his arms from around his head then blinked up at Clark and hiccupped. With an exasperated sigh, Lex exclaimed, "Fuck! I can't _hic_ get rid of these _hic_ fucking hiccups for the _hic_ life of me!" 

Trying his hardest not to smile in relief and at the humor of the situation, Clark asked, "You have a bad case of the hiccups?" 

A cold glare was directed Clark's way, which made the younger man bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. 

"Thanks for _hic_ stating the _hic_ obvious, Clark. But I don't _hic_ get hiccups! I've _hic_ never had them _hic_ for as long as I've _hic_ lived!" 

"Really? Never?" Clark's sarcastic expression made Lex scowl. 

Ignoring the scowl, the farm boy smiled and shook his head as he proceeded to walk back over to where he had placed his fruit and bent down to retrieve them. 

"Honestly, Lex. Don't you think you are taking this a little too seriously? If you would just relax I'm sure they would go away. You're so tense all of the time." 

"I'm _hic_ taking this too _hic_ seriously? I've been _hic_ up all night _hic_ trying to relax, _hic_ Clark. That _hic_ doesn't work!" With a huff, Lex turned away from Clark and sat down at his desk. 

Feeling guilty, Clark swallowed hard and looked at Lex. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean..." 

A loud hiccup cut Clark off. "I _hic_ know, Clark. Just _hic_ go home." 

The pitiful expression on Lex`s face made Clark's heart melt. "No, I'm going to help you get rid of them." Setting down the fruit a second time, Clark walked over to Lex's desk. "What have you done so far?" 

"I have a Web _hic_ page up with _hic_ all of the known _hic_ cures.... but you _hic_ don't have to _hic_ stay here _hic_ if you'd rather _hic_ go home." 

"I'm not leaving until you're cured. So, just deal with it." Clark walked around the older man's desk to see the Website. He had to giggle at one particular cure. 

"What _hic_ are you _hic_ laughing at?" Lex sounded hurt to Clark's ears. 

Clark blushed and answered, "This one cure says, `Think of all the bald men you can.'" 

"Oh, _hic_ I've tried that _hic_ already, _hic_ and as you can tell, _hic_ it didn't work." 

"How many bald men can you think of, Lex? Besides yourself of course." 

"You'd be _hic_ surprised. Not including _hic_ myself, I know _hic_ well over fifty. _hic_ When I was little _hic_ my mom showed _hic_ me pictures of _hic_ all the different actors _hic_ and cartoon characters that _hic_ were bald to _hic_ help me cope with _hic_ my hair loss. _hic_ I had a great _hic_ many role models." 

Clark nodded in understanding as he listened to Lex talk. He could only imagine what it must've been like growing up without any hair. He smiled and said, "Including, Warrior Angel?" 

Lex smiled back. "Of _hic_ course." 

A few moments of silence passed before Clark realized he had been staring at the back of Lex's shiny head and was just itching to touch it. He rubbed his suddenly sweaty palms nervously onto his jean-clad thighs then directed his attention to the computer screen. 

Suddenly, one cure popped out at Clark from the screen. "Have you tried standing on your head?" 

Lex blinked up at Clark with a look of disdain. "Luthors _hic_ don't _hic_ stand on their _hic_ heads." 

"We can put a pillow on the floor for you to lay your head on." 

"If you think _hic_ for one _hic_ second I'm going to _hic_ stand on my _hic_ head..." 

"Lex, I'm just saying that if you want to get rid of them you need to explore all of your options." 

Another glare was directed Clark`s way. 

"Come on! I'll be there the whole time. I won't let you fall, I promise." Clark smiled wide. 

"I must be _hic_ pretty desperate." Lex paused for a few seconds and then with a huff quietly agreed, "All right. _hic_ Let's do it _hic_ against that wall _hic_ over there." 

Clark just smiled wider and watched as Lex walked over to the couch, got a leather pillow, and placed it on the floor against the wall. Then in one fluid motion he placed his hands on either side of the pillow and hoisted his legs up and over his head. His heels hit the wall with a dull thud then quickly began to list to the side. 

Clark just watched for a while, snapping out of his amusement, when Lex yelped out his name, and grabbed a hold of his friend's legs to steady him. 

"I _hic_ won't let _hic_ you fall, I _hic_ promise" 

"Hey! I caught you!" 

Lex snorted, "How _hic_ long do I have to _hic_ remain this way, _hic_ Clark?" 

"Well, until the hiccups go away." 

"Are you _hic_ kidding me?!" 

With a gentle squeeze of Lex's calves, Clark calmly replied, "Just stop talking and concentrate." 

Two minutes passed before Lex finally said, "I think they are gone now." 

"Good!" Clark slowly lowered Lex's legs and helped his friend back onto his feet. "Are they really gone?" 

Lex paused for a few seconds. "I think so..." Lex smiled and started towards his desk. He got about half of the way there before he hiccupped three times in a row. 

A cry of frustration came from the older man's lips. "No! _hic_ " 

Clark frowned. "I'm sorry, Lex. What else can we do?" 

" _hic_ Nothing! I've done _hic_ everything!" 

"Let me look at this list again." Clark quickly scanned the entire page and settled on a few he thought might work. "Ok, let me look at your chest." 

" _hic_ What?" 

"Stand still and let me look." 

"Ok, _hic_ fine." 

Clark switched on his x-ray vision, looking past Lex's skin and muscle to focus on his esophagus. 

After checking Lex's chest, Clark placed both of his hands on either of Lex's sides and started to massage just underneath his ribcage. When that failed to provide any relief, Clark began to press his fingers just below the center of Lex's ribcage gently in and up at the same time in a continuing motion. 

A giggle caused Clark to stop concentrating on Lex's chest and look up into the humor induced watery eyes of his friend. "What's so funny?" 

"That kind _hic_ of tickles." 

Clark poked Lex playfully and teased him. "Oh, really?" 

As if just realizing what he had admitted, Lex started to back away but Clark kept up with him. " _hic_ Uh, oh... _hic_ " 

"Thanks for letting me know that Luthors aren't immune to tickling either. That might come in handy." 

"Please don't _hic_ tell anyone. My _hic_ reputation would be _hic_ ruined." 

Clark shook his head at Lex and then reached out to steady his friend, resuming his earlier administrations to his chest. "You know your secret's safe with me." He said before grinning up at Lex. "But I don't forget easily." 

Lex sighed with relief then hiccupped a few times in a row. "What are you _hic_ doing exactly?" 

"I'm trying one of the suggestions on that page. But it isn't working, is it?" 

A loud hiccup was Clark's answer. The frustrated young man stopped what he was doing and with a look of determination across his features, he cupped Lex's face gently within his two hands. "There is one more thing we haven't tried." 

Lex swallowed hard and spoke with a choked voice. "W-what is _hic_ that?" 

Being this close to Lex's lips just made Clark want to lick them. He settled for licking his own but the simple movement caused Lex to open his mouth a little and take in a sharp breathe. 

Now his friend's mouth looked absolutely impossible to pass up. With a soft moan, Clark leaned in and pressed his lips against Lex's. What started out as a simple kiss but led to a thorough exploration of Lex's mouth. 

Sliding his tongue inside the warm pink depths, Clark licked against Lex's tongue awkwardly at first but gradually gained the courage to use it to gently swipe across Lex's sharp teeth and the dark red expanse of his mouth. 

He kept telling himself this was just to cure his friend's case of hiccups but he couldn't lie to himself anymore than he could lie to the man pressed against him. 

The tastes of spicy vanilla beans and the tangy sweet citrus of freshly squeezed oranges overloaded Clark's senses and just made him want to take his time relishing every different flavor Lex had to offer. 

As Lex reciprocated it made Clark want to lose himself for eternity in that moment but instead he broke free from the kiss and stepped back to look at his breathless best friend. 

The overwhelming feeling of total embarrassment swallowed Clark whole and he panicked. "Are they gone?" 

"What?" Lex looked at Clark with a puzzled expression then realization dawned. "Oh, I think so." 

Clark cleared his throat. "Good. Um, well... I better be going." 

A mask fell across Lex's features that made Clark wince. "Sure. Thanks." He answered in a distant voice. 

Turning around, Lex made his way over to his desk and began typing. He never once looked up. Not even when Clark came to stand next to him. 

A hand reached out to lay on top of his shoulder. "Lex?" 

The fingers on the keyboard paused and there was a brief moment of silence before Lex looked up into the eyes of his best friend. "Yes?" 

"I think you still have the hiccups." 

"No, I don't... oh." Clark quickly pressed his lips against Lex's in an even more passionate kiss than before. 

When both were satisfied and breathless, Clark whispered against Lex's ear from his position across his lap. "Are your hiccups gone now?" 

Lex chuckled softly and rustled Clark's hair with his fingertips. "I'm afraid so. 

"Well, I'm going to have to come up with a better excuse to kiss you now." 

"Why don't you just kiss me whenever you feel like it." 

"That sounds good to me." 

The End 


End file.
